Men and Women

Each time I update my blog, I send out a message to everyone on my email list.  (Shoot me an email if you would like to be added to that list.) Well, a couple of weeks ago, I invited those on the email list to submit questions or topics for future blog entries. One active reader thus responded with this:

Ok.

This question has been on my mind for a long time.  I'm reading Conversations with God, so perhaps this is answered in there and I just haven't read it yet, but...

I'm really interested in finding out why men and women are said to have completely different biological designs that often times cause the opposite sex pain, confusion, and misunderstanding.

That's as simple as I can ask it.

Thanks!

In reading the question I thought, “Nothing like starting out with a doozy!” yet, spirit immediately began providing imagery in way of a response.  “This is going to be pretty good,” I thought next.

To begin discussing this topic, I would like to take you back to my first metaphysical short story, A New Genesis.  Here’s the first few paragraphs of that story:

On the First day, God created Vibration.  In less than an instant, All That Is vibrated with Joy, and it was good.

This new concept pleased God, and it also piqued His interest. He decided to continue creating, to play with what He had done, and thus, on the Second day, God created Variation.  God decided that if all parts of All That Is vibrated uniquely, then some would be fast and some would be slow.  He gave this new concept another name, Frequency. 

Now, if the creation of vibration was good, the creation of variation was great!  See, as God created variation, there was variation to everything. 
Not only were there fast and slow, but there were infinite degrees of each. The more He varied the pieces, the more characteristics He created.

God was curious about all of the variations and thus, on the third day, He created Separation.  He reasoned that with separation, the myriad variations could be enjoyed individually. So, through separation, All That Is became an infinite number of individual pieces vibrating uniquely. God called these His Children, and loved each and every one of them.

So through vibration, variation, and separation, individual pieces of consciousness were created.  The obvious advantage to this is the nearly infinite and unique personalities created.  No two pieces were exactly alike and as each moved through time and space, each would evolve along a unique journey.

However, there was a second advantage to all of this.  Not only does each piece have a unique personality, it also has a unique perspective!  Through separation, it was now possible to observe The One via All That Is from the outside!  This could not be done before that.  So now, The One not only had access to an outside view, but had a nearly infinite number of them all at the same time!

So, as I read of the question above, spirit gave me the following vision.

All That Is surrounds a man and a woman standing back to back.  The Man sees everything to the East, the Woman sees everything to the West: two unique but limited perspectives of All That Is.  Neither can see what the other sees, yet they can interact with each other and describe what they see to each other.

This vision certainly intrigued me.

Yet, before I go any further, allow me to branch off into a concept I have been fostering for years now.

The question (and vision) above separates humankind into Men and Women.  Naturally, this is a generalized separation of the population via a single dimension, which helps to understand at least that aspect of individualization.  We could consider other dimensions such as race, culture, nationality, size, etc.  However, gender is a big enough topic to discuss for years!  In fact, many books have been written on the subject, as you well know.

To me, however, it is not just about gender.  In fact, I think the following list of sub topics are all pertinent.  There is:
•    biological gender (male/female),
•    gender identification (i.e., transgendered peoples),
•    gender expression (masculine/feminine),
•    sexual orientation (gay/straight),
•    sexual expression (active/passive),
•    and finally, what I call gender orientation.

What is gender orientation?  Well, even if a person is 100% male, feels 100% content with being physically a man, is 100% heterosexual, he could still have the sensibilities (ideals) that we would generally consider female.

Gender orientation, for me, is most observable in relationships.  Over the years, I have seen many a couple, heterosexual and homosexual alike, where one partner was more male identified and the other female identified with regard to the relationship.  Now this did not include their expression because that is different.  The man above may exhibit quite a masculine expression in the way he carries himself and the activities he participates in, but his relationship ideals may be oriented or aligned with what most of us would consider female.  I have noticed that a man like the one above will often be in a relationship with a woman who is more male within her relationship expression, even if she is quite feminine in her personality expression.

I only mention this because, when I read the question above, which is primarily about relationship, I see this as a person of female orientation questioning the male orientation and asking why s/he feels pain in observing aspects of her/his partner(s) that s/he does not understand.

Interestingly, I would also say that the opposite is not generally true.  Male oriented individuals probably experience much less “pain” when observing the female oriented partner(s).  There may certainly be a lot of confusion about them, but not so much pain.  And why is that?  Actually, answering that question is half the answer to the first question.

Last week, I wrote a section about pain and answered the question, “What is pain?”  In review, pain is a reaction.  That means the nature of the person feeling the pain is the primary factor in understanding that pain.  Therefore, the gender orientation of the individual makes all of the difference.

Female oriented individuals observe All That Is more through their heart chakra, their feeling center, and thus experience the world through their feelings.  Male oriented individuals observe All That Is more through their throat chakra and thus more with their mind.  [Logically, I wanted to say third eye chakra but spirit is saying no – it is the throat that is more linked to the mind.  The Third Eye is more linked to the pineal glad and is thus not about thought as much as it is about perceiving the non-physical, the psychic gifts as it were.]

So, while female oriented individuals tend to experience pain when seeing something they do not understand, male orientated individuals experience something more like frustration. It is more about the reaction or expression than it is the not understanding.

So, hopefully, that explains to our reader why there is pain.  Now let’s ask, “Why is this necessary?”

The answer I am getting right now is that pain, for female oriented individuals, is what best captures their attention.  When a female oriented person (of either gender) is experiencing pain, all of their attention is on that pain.  They want so much to not feel pain and thus seek very deeply to release it.

This propels her/him toward the deepest level of understanding, not just understanding in the mind, but understanding in the heart.  They thus seek "the heart of the matter"!

If you think about it, this gives them (those with the female perspective) an advantage.  There is greater opportunity for evolutionary growth!  It is, by definition more painful, but is also more productive.

Now, another reason I wrote all of this in terms of gender orientation rather than gender itself is because gender orientation is more fluid and changeable than gender, especially now.  Many lifetimes ago, we were one gender and most likely the same orientation that went with it - and that was it.  These days, things are getting more and more mixed up.  Why?  Because that is the way the two perspectives are brought back together. 

First we have male and female as two different identities.  We were born solidly one and spent a lifetime observing the other.  Then we took a turn being the other observing the first.  We have done this for many lifetimes building up our unique understanding.

But now it is time for integration.  We are moving more and more towards the middle.  We are more consciously creating who we are in more detail and with more efficiency.  Each individual (of either gender) is gaining more freedom within all forms of expression.  A man, for example, might really like being male, yet really like being gay, and really like being masculine and yet really like being female oriented within his relationship.  It is his decision, and all others have those same choices.  We can even change gender now, which is something that could not be done years ago.

This is a huge gift!  And how amazing it will be when we have complete efficiency in our creation of self.  At a higher stage of evolution, we’ll likely be able to express ourselves in a completely different form from one moment to the next, changing our “physical appearance” as easily as changing clothes!

In closing, there is one last piece of information that just came through.  Some of the pain that we feel is as a result of self-judgment.  When observing the opposite expression, which we are confused by but drawn toward, we might be unconsciously judging ourselves as being less than. Our culture is still slightly more dominated by the male perspective, which sees sensitivity as weakness.  We as individuals must first correct this misconception within ourselves before it will completely shift globally.

It is exactly the same as with gay marriage.  Individual gay men and women must fully embrace the validity of their own uniquely defined relationships in order to shift the global perspective of their partnerships.  The process of fighting for acceptance outwardly is really just about fighting for acceptance internally.  A la Law of Attraction, once the majority of gay men and women accept their own relationships as they are with no apologies, only then will the world societies no longer have any power to deny recognition of them.  It will just be.

In accepting (and loving) ourselves, we gain access to a flooding of acceptance (and love) from all sources, from All That Is, from Source!

And also note:  this all is a gross over simplification.  Expression is infinitely variable and fluid; categorization always approximate.  Even truth changes with perspective.  Gender orientation itself can be broken down into smaller pieces.  An individual might “think like a man” about monogamy, but “think like a woman” about family.  For each subject, the perspective can lean one way or the other.

What makes us universally unique is not that there are infinite expressions, but that there are infinite combinations of those finite expressions!  We have always been unique, we are simply giving ourselves more permission to express who we really are.

In setting ourselves free, freedom will be had by all!