A Chat about Money – In the Records

Tell us what you want.

I want to start making money again.

Why do you want to make money again? Do you not have enough money now?

Well, I do have enough money now, and I am thankful for that. It just has been a long time since I've made money, enough money, significant money, and my savings is dwindling.

You have said a lot there. Let’s start with the idea that you have not made ‘enough’ money in a while. What does that mean to you?

Well, I guess enough money would be equal to the amount of money I am spending. I should say it has been a while since I’ve made as much money in a year as I've spent in a year.

OK, that feels better to us because you are now being clear. You have enough money, and you know that you do, so really zero income is ‘enough’ income – at least right now. It is important for you to keep in the forefront of your mind that you have enough and you want more. You do not need to justify your request for earnings by saying (or thinking) that you need to cover your expenditures. You ARE covering your expenditures and have never experienced the inability to do so. Yes, even during that period in 1991, you still covered your expenditures with your credit. In the universe, there is no credit or debit concept. All is created and merely accepted (received) or not.

We now want to go back to your first statement. You used the phrase “making money”. You “want to start making money”. Explain that desire in more detail.

I want to start making money. I want to start receiving income for my work. Oh, I see what you are getting at. Yes, I am asking to receive money in exchange for something. Yeah, I’m still stuck on the transaction concept.

First, allow us to tell you that you are not ‘stuck’ on the transaction concept. For that matter, neither is your society. You are all simply moving through that experience until you decide on another. We feel this is a significant subject to broach here, partly because you are wanting to move past it and partly because it will be valuable to others reading this.

Most of your western world operates within a transaction-based system. This is primarily a monetary (money-based) system as well, yet even barter is transaction-based. And yes, even your sexual and emotional relationships are more transaction-based than most are aware. A transaction is simply an exchange, but one that is made intentionally. In other words, something is given in exchange for something received. Monetary transactions are straightforward. One gives money and gets services and/or items in exchange.

Now, some might think that we wouldn’t have an opinion about a transaction-based system, but we do. We don’t have a judgment about it, but we have an opinion. Yet our opinion doesn’t matter. Your opinion matters. In fact, take that sentence literally. Your opinion about a transaction-base system matters – creates matter – and thus affects your experience. Allow us to guide your attention to your own opinions about your transaction-based system.

How often do you feel as if something costs too much? How often have you felt cheated for paying a particular amount for something? How often are you trying to get more and pay less for goods and services? How often are you (specifically you, David) not getting paid enough (or even anything) for what you do?

A transaction-based way of life has issues for sure. Every dollar means something different to each of you AND the value of money changes all of the time. For example, how much easier or harder is it for you to spend $1,000 today as compared to when you had an abundance of income?

So, one issue with a transaction-based system is that it is not fair or equitable. The exchange is never exact. Three people can go into a store and buy identical items for the same cost, yet each is getting and given different value in the exchange. Your $10 might cost you more than another’s $10 costs them. And the item purchased might mean more to another than it does to you.

Yet this is not what we most dislike about a transaction-based system. What we dislike about it is that it allows you all to believe that you didn’t create the whole thing to begin with. When you buy a book for $25, you created the book, the $25, the bookstore, the time with the cashier, and even the weather on the way to and from the bookstore. You believe that all you have to do is create the $25 and then that gives you the ability to buy the book you desire, but that is not at all how it works.

A monetary system allows you to believe you have power when you have money, but it also allows you to believe that you have power ONLY when you have money. You are constantly measuring value based on currency rather than experience. “Is that book really worth $25 to me?” you ask before buying it. Look how long, David, you have talked yourself out of buying this and that by feigning, “I don’t NEED it right now.” So, tell us, what do you want?

OK. I am going to write what comes to mind, but I am going to correct myself until it feels accurate.

Good. You do that!

I want to feel valued. I want my services to feel valued. I want my services to feel valuable. I want my services to be valued by others because this helps me feel valued. Ideally, I want to feel valued no matter what others do or think or say.

We’re going to jump in here and prod you for a moment. What is with this ‘ideally’ descriptor? We asked you what you want. Do you want anything that is not ideal for you? Don’t edit your words about what your wants are. You want what you want, simply. Everything you want is your ideal, and it changes all of the time. Speak your truth!

OK, OK. I want to be valued AND I want people to value me. I want my work to be valuable AND I want to be paid for it. I want my work to be meaningful. I want it to be meaningful to me, primarily, AND I want it to be meaningful to others.

Good. Better, a little. We know that we don’t need to remind you that you are still looking for validation. You still want to see value in what you do through others’ eyes. That is perfectly fine because that is where you are and you know it. We also know you can do better so give it one more go.

I want to love everything I do and do only what I love. And I want to feel good about everything I do, all of the time, no exceptions.

Now THAT was powerful. Go ahead, feel it. Let the tears come. You have just uncovered one of your most true desires. You know that you choose to do a whole host of things you do not love. Sometimes you do things you do not love in the hopes of gaining love down the road. And often, you don’t feel good about what you have done (in the recent and distant past) and then feel even worse about it as time goes on. THAT is the source of your pain. It has nothing to do with money and money will not solve that.

If you got paid for everything that you did this year, you would likely feel better about it, but you wouldn’t love it more. You might feel better about the idea of treating yourself with more purchases, but you would not have satisfied this inner most desire. In fact, many people do things they don’t love simply because they are being paid for it.

You, our dear boy, feel obligated to do things even when you’re not paid for it. Some around you don’t understand that in you. Why would you work so hard for seemingly nothing, or at least nothing guaranteed? Yet, we do want to commend you on this. Some part of you knows that money is not your issue. You allow it to be an excuse at times, but not always.

You are mostly doing what you want to do, or at least what you feel you need to do in and of itself. You are doing less of one thing in order to get something else and you are spending more time doing something simply because it feels good (or at least better than the alternative). You are even spending more time NOT doing things simply because the idea of doing them doesn’t feel good to you. So you are moving in the right direction and are thus not ‘stuck’.

However, you are now ‘struggling’ simply because you have stretched to a perceived limit. You say, I don’t want to work for free any longer, but a part of you knows that getting paid will not solve what you are really feeling. It is kind of tough raising the bar for yourself all of the time, isn’t it?

Yes! Why did I sign up for this?

[crickets]

OK, sorry. I just went to a place where you are not. It got really quiet for a second. If I really take money out of the equation, I start to challenge myself even more. Instead of claiming I can’t do this or that because I don’t have the money to do it, or I don’t know how to make money doing it, I am left with just, "What do I want to do?"

Welcome to the other side of a perceived limit. Forget about money and tell us what you want to do.

Where do I start?

How about with your book?

OK. I want to talk about the book. I want to feel excited about the book and share that excitement with others. I want to talk about all of the wonderful things you all have given me as part of the book, the tidbits of wisdom and the parts that I like to read over and over again.

Good start. How about with the software work?

[deep sign] I had to take a deep breath before that one. Let me start by saying this, I love to write code specifically when I am creating something new. I love taking a starting concept that interests me and creating from it, then experiencing all of the small successes as each piece I create works demonstrably. So, one part of what I want from the software work is more of that.

Again, good start. Go on.

I also want to feel connected to the purpose of the software. I want to create software that serves people on multiple levels.

Does Minggl serve people on multiple levels?

Yes.

So, what then is the issue? You are still hesitant in your energy.

I feel fear. I feel torn. I fear being pulled too far back into software. I fear committing myself to this. I fear re-creating what didn’t work for me before, with Advent.

Ah, you have opened the door to a key issue. You have created a job with Minggl that is everything you asked for, at least some of the time. Yet, as you see the potential to create some of what you don’t desire, you feel like you want to do something different. You feel like you want to start over.

YES, that is exactly it. I feel like the only way to create what I want when things feel a little off, is to start over.

Yet where you start is so unimportant.

Yes, I have been playing Abraham’s words over in my mind when they say that it doesn’t matter where we put our boat in, that the stream will take us to where we want to go, and that all we can do is go willingly or get our butts kicked along the way.

You are hovering around another key issue, but you haven’t quite gotten to it yet.

Yeah, I almost felt it.

You DID feel it and it was specifically when you wrote about getting your "butt kicked”.

Yeah. I feel like every time I find something (or someone) I love, I then get my butt kicked.

We know.

And I, of course, have experienced that more times than I care to admit.

Are you ready to stop creating that?

YES.

OK, we just wanted to be sure that you really did want to stop creating that.

I DO. I DO.

This is important. You need to stop beating yourself up over what you have done that you don’t love. We’re not just talking about your past, but every day. Every day you do something you don’t feel good about, let it go. And every day you don’t do something you feel you should have done, let it go. You are kicking your butt every day and then having the experience of getting kicked. And your unfortunate belief has you getting kicked right after having an experience you especially enjoyed, so you search for a feeling of love, feel love, and then get kicked, repeatedly.

Yeah. Problem number one might be obligation, but problem number two is guilt.

More accurate would be to say that problem number one is believing that there is a problem and problem number two is experiencing that belief over and over again.

You guys are amazing.

Thank you. Yes we are and oh the joy of experiencing that through you.

And thank you for this experience. It has helped a lot.

Go now, carry on with your day and be easy with yourself. You have opened the door to a lot of things that you desire and this is just beginning. Do what feels good and feel good as often as you can for no reason at all!

Thanks. And thanks for being here with me.

Always and all ways.