Sunday, May 3, 2009

Confusion

In anticipation of The Body Mind Spirit Expo, I have been doing a bunch of Tarot readings lately. One of the great things about doing a lot of readings in a short period of time is that I begin to see patterns.

The Law of Attraction says that we create our own reality. Taken to the nth degree, as in Ho’oponopono, we create every aspect of the reality that we see around us. Stated another way, the universe is holographic.

Okay – a lot of big words already (and even bigger concepts), but hold on, it’s all down hill from here.

If you follow my work, you will hear me talk about the Perfection of the Universe. Here is an example of the Perfection of the Universe at play: In every case, when I do a reading for someone, the message is for both of us at the same time. What could be more perfect than that? I get to do a reading, which I love, and convey a little bit of guidance and wisdom to another, and in the process I get to receive some guidance and wisdom for myself!

Cards have so many different meanings that sometimes the message for the querent and the message for me are different, but conveyed in the same card. Cool!

So, in looking back at the many readings I have done in the past week, what are the patterns? And if you are reading this, then the Perfection of the Universe is at play and there will be something here for you too! Okay, here goes.

The first card that I noticed as coming up frequently was the Knight of Wands. As an esoteric card, the Knight of Wands means contemplating action or even more esoteric, the study of metaphysics. In one of my decks, this knight is shown carrying a torch. He looks like he is leading the way and lighting the way for others. So after a number of readings, I asked, “Is this me?”

But think about the phrase, “he’s carrying a torch for others”. That phrase has evolved to mean other things. Some would call it “holding space”, but sometimes it means carrying the burdens of others.

And that brings me to the next card that kept coming up, the 10 of Wands. In this card, a man is literally carrying a bundle of sticks. It is an obvious burden, and the implication is that he has far to travel. So, show of hands, how many of you reading this right now feel like you are carrying weight around with you? Do you feel responsible for others? Do you feel like, if you don’t do it, it won’t get done? Is there just a ton to do and it is taking forever? Are you worried about someone or something?

And how many of you are carrying the torch around for others? Are you biting your tongue so as not to upset people? Are you watching others seemingly about to make a mistake and you feel obligated to try and save them from it? Do you fear for the safety of those who you feel are less capable of protecting themselves? By this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if all of you have your hands up. Stated another way, we’re all carrying a load around.

So what now? What’s the guidance? The first is simply this, no matter how many sticks (or torches) you are carrying, you only need to carry one at a time. No matter how far you are traveling, you only take one step at a time. Even if you are sprinting, you are still taking one step at a time. Have something to do tomorrow? Well, do it tomorrow. Let it go today.

Not as easy as it sounds, though, eh?

Next message... 10 of Swords. For those of you who may have seen this card, it is not pretty. Picture a person lying on the ground with ten swords stabbed into their lifeless body, blood oozing out. Gruesome. The tens are endings and some of them are difficult. We, as a species, resist change; we thrive for it, but resist it at the same time. Swords, however, are about thought, so the Ten of Swords is really about a belief that needs to die. If you think changing the earth is tough, try changing a deep seeded belief!

Before I finish the Ten of Swords, I want to tell you about the last card that kept coming up, the 7 of Swords. As a basic, mundane message, the Seven of Swords is about slander and theft. When this cards shows up, you’ve been violated or betrayed. It’s not as painful as the ten, but not fun either. But in most cases, this card showed up in the future position or as the guide card! What? Is this what we have to look forward to? And why would spirit be guiding us toward or about this?

Let’s consider a more esoteric meaning of the Seven of Swords, confusion. Ok, we all know what that feels like. In fact, each of us could be confused about something in our lives right now. But again, I ask, why are we being guided towards this? Does spirit want us to be confused?

Actually, yes!

What!?!? My guides want me to be confused? Why on earth (or not on earth) would they want me to be confused?

Well, how about this, if you are not confused, if you “know it all”, what’s to learn?

Okay. Point taken. I’m listening now...

So let’s say that you are absolutely sure that you know what’s best for you and although you keep trying your damnedest, you keep getting nowhere. “I need to protect myself.” “Survival of the fittest.” “The early bird gets the worm.” All the answers are out there, so what’s left to learn? “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

Now do you see why spirit wants us to be confused? How can we open up to new ideas until we let go of the untruths we keep telling ourselves? As Abraham says to many who keep stating a belief that is not serving them:

“How’s that working out for you?”

7 is a powerful number; it is the destroyer. We build prisons and lock ourselves inside, but then some powerful storm blows the roof off and then tears down a wall. We need to first see how we have bound ourselves in darkness, (the roof being blown off by the Seven) and then have the wall torn down (by the Ten). If it happens the other way, we’ll possibly be too afraid to walk through the hole anyway.

So embrace the confusion. Be thankful that you don’t know everything. If you did, you would already be at the end. If you knew everything, you would have as much as you were ever going to get. What a travesty that would be! There is SO much more to have, to experience, to do. There is so much more love to give and receive, so much more beauty to create. There is so much more to learn and know. We have not even begun!

Embrace the confusion (Seven of Swords) and allow the old beliefs to fail (Ten of Swords). Any blood lost is tainted. Put down some of the burden (Ten of Wands). Bleed out some of the pain. Let it all go bit by bit.

And if I am, in any way, a Knight of Wands, even for just a moment, then let me begin. Let me tell you that I’m still holding on to pain that is coming out a tear at a time. I have doubt. I have confusion. I don’t get a lot of things. I don’t understand why some things keep not showing up in my life, and why I can’t seem to figure out why I am not giving myself the one thing I most want in this life. I am right here with y’all and I’m prepared to curl up and weep if that what it takes to let this old stuff go. I’ve done it before. I can’t image being more scared and in more pain than some of those times in my youth when I thought the love I felt seemingly for the first time, the love that was being taken away would never return.

It returns! It always returns. It may take years, but it returns. I have lived long enough to know it returns. I still haven’t gotten to keep it just yet, or even hold on to it for that much time, but it returns, and I’m growing. We’re all growing.

Let the pain go, let the worry go, you are not alone. Even if I’m not at your side, I’m with you. Let’s cry together and hold each other. It feels good to cry, doesn’t it? Believe me, I’m crying right now, right as word 1444 passes by and I notice it. 444 – you are surrounded by love and support, your guides and loved ones are here to comfort you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

God Bless us, everyone!